Be Curious, Not Judgmental - #BeKind21

Be curious, not judgmental. What could be possible if you invited in curiosity today?

On this first day of September, I want to celebrate #BeKind21 and the great work Maya Smith started with the Born this Way Foundation. I’ll start it off by sharing a story that I hope will allow you to invite in more curiosity in place of judgment, show kindness and compassion to others, and live a thriving life. Being kind is not difficult. You can choose to be kind right now.

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When I was 16, a friend’s grandfather held a gathering for a group of high school kids. It was a program about building mutual respect and learning how to see others who are different with compassion. I went because I had a crush on the friend.

The grandfather started the session by playing short segments (10 seconds or so) of various kinds of music and asking us to write down a word or two to describe our reactions.

I had what I thought was a wide range of appreciation for music but it did not include heavy metal.

He played a part of a song and many of us in the room cringed a little and reacted negatively. We shared  our comments and reactions out loud and discussed what we liked and didn’t like about it.

He went through various types of music like this – classical, opera, Top 40, reggae, jazz. Then he came back to that same heavy metal piece that received a lot of negative reactions the first time. Overall, the group learned how to appreciate it. We learned how to allow it to be familiar and invite in some of the sounds in a new way with curiosity. It might not be what we always choose but we can learn how to respect it.

When we are judgmental we don’t see the value in someone or something. We signal to the world that we are closed-minded and believe our perspectives matter more than others. We impede innovation by continuing to rely on resources and experiences that are familiar to us.

A curious mind allows us to expand our possibilities. It helps us recognize that our perspective is just one lens with which to see the world and we will be better served by being curious about the people and things around us.

With curiosity, you can show someone else that they matter, that you see them and they belong. This creates a work culture that leads to greater trust and loyalty.

Being curious also helps you tap into greater innovation. Instead of limiting ideas, you invite in multiple perspectives that can expand what is possible in your organization. (Ask me more about how an integrated mindset can be used to accelerate success and onboard talent more quickly.)

Being curious also helps us connect to being present. Ask yourself, “What is here now?” “What can I learn about this experience, this situation, this person?” “How are my life experiences contributing to any judgment I may have about what is happening?”

When could judgment put you in a situation where you are missing crucial information? How could being curious help you gain information that would lead to a better decision?

You may already know that I am a huge Ted Lasso fan. So in the great words of Ted Lasso, check out this scene where he demonstrates how valuable it can be to be curious rather than judgmental.

I would love to hear your experiences. When have you had an experience where curiosity served you? Or where judgment hurt you? What other ways are you contributing to a culture of kindness? What's your favorite Ted Lasso scene that inspires greatness in your organization?